Archive for October, 2009

EFT4Vets honors the Warrior, Veterans and their families. EFT4Vets doesn’t judge, doesn’t condone and doesn’t excuse what happens or happened, it helps HEAL what happened. In a surprisingle simple and effective way, we honor the memories, thoughts and feelings, as well as their physical manifestation, and releasing the response by tapping on 8 designated release points on the physical body.
This technique always stays the same. It does not require a diagnosis, and can be used as a self help tool as well as by compassionate friends and family, even kids.

If something is worth mentioning or thinking about, remembering in an intense way, it is worth addressing with EFT. EFT4Vets simply takes the charge out of traumatic memories, negative beliefs, fears, anger, … . It is a unique approach to healing, that is so effective that research shows it can bring measurable results for traumatized Veterans even after 3 sessions!
EFT4Vets allows us to honor any event, any feeling, no matter how big or small, in the same way: By tapping on these release points and repeating an affirmation: Even though I feel…I deeply and completely accept myself, we can get astounding ans lasting results.

One thing is for sure: Every military family faces fear and change. War changes warriors as well as those who love them, not matter what the experiences were. Many try to deal with this by not thinking about it too much, by distracting themselves and focussing on the life and tasks at hand. But with EFT, there might be a better way.
While deployed, warriors focus on their mission, and the changes that will come due to their experiences and the fact that they have been away for so long, often seem vague.
The changes are real, even if a warrior does not come back with severe trauma, and they might remain a barrier between the person and his or her family, a greay zone that, after a few trials, everybody silently agrees not to talk about.
With EFT, there can be a way to tap on this, to help normalize the feeling of having become distant and strange to each other. As always, you need to agree with the disclaimer on this site and use your own disgression and judgment for the tapping and your wellbeing.
KP: Even though I am afraid of the changes that are coming, I deeply and completely accept myself.
Even though I know that my partner will change, and so will I, I choose to find a way to let this be a positive and strong thing.
Even though I am nervous about the unknown, I deeply and completely accept myself.
TH: I am afraid of the changes that will be
IE: What if I don’t like them
OE: I am nervous about how he/she will cope
UE: And I am afraid that I can’t handle it, either
UN: I am scared that he/she will be changed so much that he/she has lost what I love the most
UL: And I am afraid that I will not be able to see him/her the way I used to
CB: I am scared of the changes that will come
UA: I don’t like to feel like a victim of change
TH:And I am angry that I can’t change the change

TH: What if I could relax about this fear?
IE: What if I didn’t have to find all the solutions today?
OE: What if I could take it one step at a time
UE: And what if I didn’t have to know all the answers?
UN: What if it was OK to stay in the moment
UL: And find strength in who I am?
CB: What if I could trust that I don’t have to change everything back to where it was to be OK?
UA: What if I could find a way to love what we have, even if the colors are changed?
TH: What if I could allow myself to take it one step at a time, in a way that works for me and all of us?

TH: I chose to relax about what I can’t change
IE: I chose to connect with the power I have
OE: I chose now to find out what I can relax about and what truly needs my attention
UE: And I chose to send myself the insights that I need to make a difference for you and me
UN: I can chose to release the grief about losing who we were
CB: And to take it one step at a time
UA: Honoring you and me for what we have been through
TH: And finding a powerful and positive way to move on forwrd, in a way that works for us.

TH: I am grateful for my newfound strength
IE: I am grateful for you
OE: And I am grateful for having each other
UE: Even if the colors have changed, and we both have to work to get used to this
UN: I appreciate you and what I am about to learn about you
UL: And I appreciate myself for what I am about to teach you about me
CB: I can chose to be surprisingly calm and confident
UA: Honoring our path together, what we have in common and what will always separate us
TH: In a surprisingly appropriate way, that feels right and truly works for us.

Take a deep breath, relax and see what shifts are taking place in you. Feel into your body, if you feel more relaxed, if pain and tension loose up and shift, if you feel sadness or anger coming up that need to be addressed separately. If so, please do another round, jjust focussing on yyour current feeling, and allow for it to release as well.

Thank you for your willingness and determination to never give up!

This is how a Veteran described how she felt after returning from Iraq. “Somehow, the colors are different now…”: Red is not really red, blue not really blue. Things have changed in subtle, and not so subtle ways. Much of was true befor I left doesn’t feel true or important anymore. It was hard for her to come to terms with this, as she stuggled to recreate her old life with her husband, and deal with a society wo didn’t understand.
Understand what?
War changes people. Deployment changes people. Nobody comes back unchanged.
After returning from war, priorities are different, the pace is different. It is hard for many Veterans to see value in rather superficial every day events at home, while they worry about their buddies, and are haunted by memories of what happened while they were deployed.
It is hard to relate to a life that seems so disconnected from the true dangers and responsibilities in a warzone.
And it is especially hard to communicate this to those who wish to understand but can’t.

The colors are different: My blue is not your blue, my red not your red. When you say “I need you”, I think about my buddy right before he died. He needed me too, and I couldn’t safe him. Nobody could. But he needed me in a way you will never understand. And it haunts me…
Do you understand what I am talking about?
How can two people ever communicate about the same life, when the colors are different?…

Many non-military EFT practitioners have emailed me asking how to best get EFT established within the VA system.
It is important to understand that the Military is a hirarchic system. In order to be effective, it is essential to talk to the right people who report to the right people. Understanding the hirarchy can make the difference between an information being forwarded or “getting stuck”.
It helps to prepare some initial questions before making an entrance: Who is in charge of what you are about to offer? How do the different departments communicate?
Also: What kind of similar techniques have already been offered, and how were they perceived? This might help to bridge between a new technique like EFT and an already positive experience (Gary Carig’s “Acupuncture without needles” slogan is a great example for this).

I find it essential, and a sign of respect to understand the rank and responsibility of the person I am talking to. The New Hampshire National guard for example made some of their material for new recruits available for me to get a start. They appreciated the interest, and it is another good way to establish rapport.
There are also many resources available online which can help you get some understanding.

Making “understanding the flow of information and the military hirarchy” the topic of our first call helps release potential feelings of intimidation , and can also protect us from the frustration of leaving important messages on the wrong answering machine.

Before trying to introduce EFT4Vets at the VA, it is important to make some calls to understand the hirarchy and flow of information.

To help someone with EFT, trust and good rapport are of the essence. If we are not considered trustworthy, then our clients don’t really care what we have to offer.
For Veterans, this is especially important and often hard, as they are trained to make quick decisions who is friend and who enemy. Many Veterans only trust other Vets, and are very suspicious of outside people.
There are many reasons for this, but I found that there are ways that often work well:
I found that a good way to establish trust is to open up a session asking what the client wants to know about me. Before talking EFT, we discuss my background, my motivation, anything that is important to him or her. I put all my cards on the table, share my story which has lead me to do what I do, answer any questions that are important to the person.
The focus of this talk is to give the client all the opportunity he or she needs to “check me out”, to test me for integrity, to find a way to relate to me.
The question “what do you need to know about me?” is a great starter question to establish rapport and trust.