EFT4Vets

Returning home from combat is not as easy as many expect. Thinking of home feels wonderful: a safe and comfortable place, where things will “sort themselves out”. Many veterans can’t wait to get on the plane and head home, and neither can their relatives. But in the weeks and months ahead, many soldiers face great and unexpected difficulties when they come back to their family and try to adjust to “normal life”.

In the days, weeks or months after returning home from combat, many veterans report that the world seems to stand still, as if in slow motion. They still have the adrenaline rush going and the very thing that often protected their lives, being able to always be alert and on guard, and ready to protect themselves and others, is now working against them. In the beginning, this might feel like a normal adjustment period that can be expected after such a high adrenaline life in theater, but after a while, it often becomes clearer and clearer that the inner pressure, the hyper vigilance, the inner arousal from combat stress doesn’t go away on its own. The high tempo in which the world seems to unfold for these men and women often causes conflicts with the rest of the family, who don’t understand or have difficulty coping with the changes they see in their soldier returning home from combat.

In combat, everybody is the same, going through the stress together, warriors fighting for each other. They don’t need a lot of words to communicate, and they have almost intuitive ways to signal each other that they know and are there if someone needs them. At home, this is a very different situation, and most Veterans feel that nobody understands them, since they haven’t shared the same experiences. So for spouses, it is important to recognize that just the physical change to leave for safer grounds doesn’t make the experiences, the combat stress, the often upsetting, overwhelming and traumatic memories, undone.  

At the same time, life at home went on and took its own turn. Spouses managed to cope and raise the kids, new jobs were found, new relationships created. Life at home is simply not what it used to be. This can create great pressure and disappointment, and if military families are not trained and prepared for this, it can cause strain and overwhelm on the marriage and life itself. All of these are natural and common occurrences, and trying to find out whose “fault” it is that things are tough is usually not the right solution.

Remember that after returning home from combat, it is important to recognize and acknowledge each other’s feelings and make sure that healing can happen in a way that feels safe and appropriate for everybody involved. Talking is so much easier when the emotional charge of the often traumatic past can be discharged. EFT coaching techniques can be learned that allow doing exactly that: Instead of focusing on WHY we are angry, we work with THAT we are angry, which releases the charge and allow all parties to relax.

With EFT, we have an opportunity to help a Veteran “de-stress”, lowering the inner pressure that the soldier feels, and helping him or her to relax.

Thank you so much for working with me! I can’t believe the difference that 6 hours of EFT have made for me.

As a Vietnam Veteran I see that if we could get people who come right from the zone and teach them how to tap, they wouldn’t have to go through 40 years of shit like I had to.

Thank you for EFT4Vets!

R.

Thank you, Ingrid for the session yesterday.

We worked for 50 minutes on the phone and ended by getting me back to the little girl I left in the root celar oh so many years ago.

Today I feel quite good, as I am learning how to live with my new found part. She, now a mature person, brings smiles to my being both inside and out.

What a wonderful feeling that is. I try to get the feeling that was there before working yesterday and I can not find it. How great is that?

For that issues at this time and maybe for ever, I am done. Thank You for being there for me. See you at a work shop when I can.

Much Love, B.

This week we are having a tribute for the founder of EFT, Gary Craig.

Please join us! 3pm EST/8pm GMT

Call-in Number: (718) 664-6271

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/eft_world_magazine

Today on the life call:

Jacqui Crooks, Sophia Cayer, Maryam Webster, Ingrid Dinter

Part of the mission for this blog is to help practitioners understand the world of Veterans and their families. Only if we understand what Veterans and military families are going through can we find ways to reach out effectively.

I have said many times that, no matter how good we might be in our field, connecting with a Veteran is always personal. Hardly ever is it possible to make an announcement and have many people show up and be interested.

Learning how to reach out, earning our access to the person and communicating in an appropriate way is important.

I just had the following communication with a military mother. She allowed for me to publish it with the hopes that she can help others understand.

I am very grateful for this, and pray that her son will reach out and get help whenever he is ready.

—

*Mother: I have been researching PTSD for sometime. I believe my Army Veteran son-age 27-would benefit from EFT. What do we do next? I am grateful for the information provided by your website and newsletters.

Comfort and joy,  S.

*Ingrid: Hi S.,

Thank you for your email. I’d be glad to talk with you and your son. I have been working with many Veterans and military families and see tremendous benefits in improvement of sleep, over all relaxation, release of guilt and hyper vigilance, sadness, numbness and disconnect, to name only a few.

Please call me Mo-Fr 8:30am-3:00pm (EST): (603) 746-2328

Thank You

Ingrid

—

I then called her a few days later to follow up.

*Mother: Ingrid,

There are not words to adequately describe my feelings as I listened to your voice mail last week.  The simple fact you took the time to call about my Army Veteran son was very much appreciated.  I know we will be calling you soon.

Blessings and light, S.

*Ingrid: S.,

I am wondering if you would allow me to use your kind email as a testimonial on my website. Creating trust and rapport is so hard, as you know, and when something is said by a family member, it accounts for so much more  than when I say it.

I’d be happy to change your name to keep it anonymous. Thanks so much!

I continue to pray that your son will connect with me.

Love Ingrid

*Mother: You may use my email, of course.  Change the name, use my first or initials only all are fine with me.  My son’s health-emotion, mental and physical are very important to me.  For you to take the time to first respond to my email and then to actually call me placed me on the most incredible emotional high….someone cares too!  Wow!

Blessing and light, S.

*Ingrid: Thanks S.!

Many, many people care. A lot! This is why we are doing this.

The hardest thing for us is to actually make the first connection, as avoidance and mistrust are such profound symptoms that many Veterans bring home.

I know you are going through a lot right now. Seeing your own son suffer and be changed must hurt a lot.

Please know that you are in my prayers.

Love

Ingrid

———————-

I hope that you can see how lonely the situation for many military family members is, and how much they wish that someone could help their loved one. This is one of the most loving and gentle communities that I have ever met. So much caring, so much concern.

When we reach out and try to spread the word about EFT or any other healing modality or support, we will most likely have to do this one person at a time, taking the time, honoring the concerns, listen to the stories and objections.

This takes time and commitment, of course. however, not taking this time can make the difference between someone finding the courage to accept support, or not being able to reach out.

Many, many people are needed to help Veterans and their families heal! And the first true connection will always be personal.